Happy New Year!! 2018!!

Through my darkness I found my light
Within that light it sparked my life
To a world I want to belong

Dear EveryBeauty,

Happy New Year 2018! 
To tell you the truth I had a very tough time these first 2 weeks of the year. I felt very depressed, lost and left out. I felt I didn't belong anywhere, I felt nobody needed me. I was in a very depressed state to say the least. 

So just two days ago, I was sitting down and expressing my deep depression, loneliness and left outness to somebody close to me and all of a sudden I answered my own questions: what/why am I here on this Planet for? How can I be of service? What is my career!? What is the thing that I am meant to do?! The answer (which I cried out in blubbering tears) is: Health/Self-Love!! (In all aspects of Health & Self-Love) What I know is that without health, you don't have anything. Without your health, your well-being you feel lost and depleted and in those states you can't help anybody. So......

My desire for my career is to become a:
1.) Personal Trainer
2.) Holistic Nutritionist
3.) Binge Eating Disorder Coach
4.) Sound Healer (in voice or instrument(s)) 
5.) Vegan Chef 
* 6.) Maybe... Kinesiologist 

All 5 of them I am deeply interested in because all of them I live with on a day-to-day basis. 

{Binge Eating Disorder Coach}
I am deeply, deeply interested in this because I have soo much history with binge eating. I want to make a difference in children's lives in this area, because it's a thing (food) that the normal human cannot live without. You are always surrounded by it. I want to specialize in this area because that's the only disorder that I've experienced. I've never experienced anorexia or bulimia. I thankfully haven't experienced that, and there will be fabulous coaches for that. But for me I've only experienced binge eating so I can only give what I've learned from my experience plus book-smarts. I feel having personal experience plus book-smarts is the perfect marriage for this. 

{Holistic Nutritionist}
I am deeply, deeply interested in this because I've gone through the ringer of food and my body rejecting soo much, that I've had to go strict (for myself) with food. Not able to eat certain foods in my life. Going through a journey of what foods (even what is considered healthy foods) that I have to take out. So I feel, I would love to be a Holistic Nutritionist not just for people but to be MORE educated in the area for myself.

{Personal Trainer}
I'm very much interested in this because it coinsides with the last two, I mentioned. I feel for myself, that I can't have one without the other. Because from personal experience (eating mountains amounts of healthy foods), I need the component of exercise! Just two nights back, I binged ate on LaraBars (the Cashew and Coconut Cream) and I couldn't go to bed till after midnight, because the food I ate gave me extra energy that I wasn't using. So in bed I was tossing and turning, using the energy up and not getting the sleep I want. So from that experience alone, I KNOW for me, I need to become a Personal Trainer (plus I love the hard ass workouts my personal trainer puts me through these days). And I've learned that from the experience. 

{Vegan Chef}
Well this one kind of is an extra one I added in because I'd love to become creative with the food I eat. Because I'm not allow too much variety, I'd love to create a fun game out of the one thing everybody needs. 

{Sound Healer}
This one is a very interesting one. When I was a little child, I wanted to become a singer/songwriter (famous with spotlight on me; Beyonce-like). Just 3 months ago, I got a gig and had a whole show to myself (the dream) and I didn't like it one bit. I felt I was just singing AT people not FOR people. I didn't feel a sense of oh-wow-she-changed-my-life or oh-wow-she-helped-me aspect that I thought would come out of it. It was just me up on stage and singing songs. Sounded good, but when I did it, it didn't feel good. So from that negative experience, a desire for my voice (songs) to be a healing modality. 

{*Kinesiologist}
I don't know if I want to become a full-fledged Kinesiologist I just want to know how to muscle test other people, or to muscle test through me for other people. Because for the work that I'd love to do, I know I can't just tell people what to eat and what not to eat.  I want to show people what their bodies are telling them. Let their bodies speak not me. And to help create an agenda their bodies need to give them vitality and heal themselves. Everybody eats differently, just like everybody sees things differently in life (everybody has a different fingerprint). Let their food plan be their fingerprint for health and vitality! Maybe go through hair-analysis or something? I don't know, I just want to help people help themselves. Their body is already very smart, why try and outsmart what is already body intelligent? Because you eat for your body, not for your emotions/feelings. You feed how you feel through beautiful, meditation/gentle yoga/bubble baths/aromatherapy... etc. 


All this came through!!  I answered my own questions! 😍 The power lies within baby! 

Thank you soo much for reading this far, You are Incredible! 
Keep shining your incredible light!

Love you,
Ahn xxoo

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"Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the greatest relationship." ~ Buddha

Word of the Day
Intrepid
Adjective
1. resolutely fearless; dauntless:

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